Im so excited im home for the Holiday!
I ate alot..my body image was the last thing on my mind ( go Turkey dat).
The most exciting part for me was to meet up with my high school friends who actually
stuck with me. Wednesday night i had my cousin and a friend from church come over, we were all Haitian, tall as heck ( 5'9...5'11..and 6'0) and skinny not by choice but thanks to genetics. We were watching some african movies and there was a skinny character and she went through hell just because she was skinny, she was called a prostitute and a skinny hungry B*, but she would be considered fine in America. That scene enabled me to bring up my project to my cousin and friend and we discussed it. While we were talking my friend from school asked if she could come over, so i said yes...she came we had fun and about 30 mins later she said she was leaving and i asked her why and she said she felt out of place.
I accompanied her to her car ( where we caught up on what was new with our college life) and she told me the reason why she felt out of place was because she was surrounded by beautiful tall and skinny friends....
Now i felt like crap because in my mind i thought she felt out of place because we kept on switching from english to french to creole and she didn't understand. I never thought that such a beautiful girl as her would feel out of place because of that.
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3 comments:
I really liked your story; it shows that beauty is cultural and social, not biological. Beauty can be defined by many people many different ways. Two people can see the same person and have completely different opinions about that person’s appearance. Your story helps bring this point into perspective.
If I was in your position I would tell my friend that you are beautiful and people define beauty in many different ways. In many cultures being skinny is frowned upon and they are treated with disrespect. Give examples, and try to make her see that she should not feel down because of her appearance, and that confidence can mask any flaw.
Thanks for the interesting story and I hope everything gets worked out between you and your friend.
I completely understand. I feel very much out of place when I am surrounded by people that look a great deal different from me. I am short and a touch on the chubby side. I often feel inadequate when I am flanked by tall, slender women.
Isn't it sad that typically intelligent and strong women find ways to cut ourselves down?
I agree with Jessie. You should try to reassure your friend, REMIND her she is beautiful because we all are. Not looking like the 'next' is what makes us all beautiful. I think we all go through those times where we may feel slightly inadequate. Times like those can be can be overcome with the help of a positive and supportive friend.
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